daily inspiration: week 6

 tadpole found on the Peace River a couple months ago has grown into this beautiful frog.

Daddy was in need of some decompression from his studies, so a wrestling match ensued.

This girl loves balloons!  Who needs toys?!

weak

Per my post last week, this may not come as a shock, but I have been feeling so weak.  I guess that is a very good sign but it sure does make me feel discouraged!  Here are some verses I've been clinging to:
Romans 8:26
"Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness."

Philippians 3:3b
"put no confidence in the flesh."

2 Corinthians 12:9
"My grace is sufficient for you; for My power is made perfect in weakness."
v. 10
"For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weakness, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
13:3b-4
"He is not weak in dealing with you, but is powerful among you. For He was crucified in weakness, but lives by the power of God."

This does much to encourage my soul!

expectations...a deadly foe

The past couple months have been really difficult.  I cannot seem to pinpoint exactly what has made them hard, but they have just been very hard.  As I was talking to Paul last night I explained to him that I feel like every relationship I have I am ruining.  It's like anything I "touch" simply goes all wrong.  I really try not to think of myself more highly than I ought.  I just seem to see with such much more clarity how I affect others...and unfortunately not always for the best!  I especially see it in our family.  I am short tempered and just plain rude with the kids at times.  And, poor Paul, he gets the brunt of my selfishness and glares and unloving responses.  And, what makes it even worse is that I look at the those in the world who are not lovers of Christ (what I claim to be) and they seem to love their families and friends with such joy and delight and selflessness.  And I doubt God's goodness and I doubt God's love for me and I think "if only I can be more patient. If only I have more self control in my responses to the kids, if only, if only...."  My expectations of myself, Paul and our children are endlessly high and unobtainable.  I've been learning to tell myself that this is not who I am.  I am a child of the Father's and because of Christ I have been made righteousness.  That doesn't mean I don't ever sin (come and live with us for a while and you'll see plenty of sinful moments!) but it does mean that when my Heavenly Father looks at me, He sees Christ's righteousness.  And, as I write this post, I think for the first time ever, I may know why the past couple months have been so difficult.  I am learning what it means to be free in Christ, my beloved Lord. I am learning that I am dependent on Him for EVERYthing. This I have known for years, in my head.  But, I think it is becoming more of a knowledge in my heart.  And as a result I am trying to let go of sinful habits I have formed that I thought were godliness but actually are sinful. Such as guilt, self-righteousness, self-pity, covetousness, pride and the list is probably 100 miles long.  When I look at my sins, I don't see them as sins, necessarily all the time.  I see them as my rights and find ways to justify the way I am feeling.  Instead of submitting my "rights" at the Cross and repenting and believing in Him who died for me I go on fighting for them.
Isn't this the point?  That we preach ourselves the Gospel everyday?  Everyday we need to hear, Christ died for me, I have been bought with a price and it is no longer I who live but Christ who lives in me.  The Father loves me, He loves me enough that He sent His beloved Son to die for me and not only that He has sent His Spirit to live INside of me.  EVERY day we need to hear this message.  It's not like you wake up one day and you decide to follow Jesus and then that is it, my fire insurance (escape from hell ticket) has been purchased and now I don't have to worry about how it'll all end so long as I don't murder someone or break someone's marriage up, I'll be good for the streets of gold.  Oh no, dear reader, if you think that you might well be on your way to hell.  Following Christ is a daily laying down of yourself for the sake of Christ.  It's a daily reminder that He died for me!  He died for me and now I can live for Him!  It's true freedom but I realize this sound foolish to those who don't know Him.  Anyway, after writing this post, I think a lot of my difficulties are coming from the expectation I have to be perfect clashing with the Lord's desire for me to glorify and enjoy HIM!  I am seeing more of my sinfulness as I see more of His holiness and it makes me uncomfortable and yet this, Lord willing, will evoke real change and transformation in my heart to make me conformed to the image of Christ Jesus.   And this will only happen by the power of His Spirit at work in me.  So, I think, if I have my theology right (!) that I am feeling this tension because God is at work!  I am trying to preach the Gospel to myself, daily.  I am trying to remember the Cross in those hard moments of the day.  And, by God's grace, He is putting me through the fire, refining me as gold and one day I will stand complete in Him, as pure as gold.  The fire burns and it hurts, but it's for our good and His glory and I am learning that when I hurt to press into Him even more.  What a Father!  What a Lord! What a Savior to save a worm like me!

daily inspiration: week 5

 Ducklings on the pond.

 Socks are a good source of fiber!

Adele and her friend Martha playing princesses and dollies.

gearing up

Well, time is a ticking and that means the days are drawing closer to Paul's graduation and Lord willing, our departure for Thailand.  We are getting super excited about heading back to South East Asia.  Paul, PJ, Elizabeth and I are leading a vision trip in June for about 10 days. It's going to be a crazy trip as Elizabeth will be on my lap the entire flight...but I am so excited to be going.  I am looking forward to reconnecting with many friends there and seeing the new city in which we will be living.  I am looking forward to praying with future teammates (maybe?) and waiting upon the Lord together to see what He wills.  And, I wouldn't be human if I didn't admit the fears that also reside in my heart.  Fears of pure exhaustion from traveling with a small child, fears of tsunamis, fears of language blunders, fears of danger and the list goes on and on.  My hope, however, is in Christ and His calling and His assurance that I am His and nothing can separate me from Himself.  Praise His Name!  I am keenly aware of our utter dependence on Christ in this trip...and in any future ministry.  Without Him we are just chaff that the wind blows where it will.
Dear reader, would you pray for our trip?  Elizabeth and I leave June 7 and Paul and PJ leave June 8 (I think).  Please pray for safe travels both to get there and back and in country. Please pray for many opportunities to share the Gospel of Christ with many people.  Pray for our language to come back quickly!  Pray for those who are praying about working with us on a longer term scale.  Pray for protection from disease. Pray for protection from the forces of the spiritual realm.  Pray for the funding we still need and praise God with us that several on the team are doing well with raising funds!  Pray for all the little details that could become big details.  Mostly, pray that we would know Christ more and that we would glorify Him with our lives.
Thank you!

daily inspiration: week 4

 We broke out a new toy for Elizabeth to play with.  It was PJ's and yes, we've hung onto it all these years.  My sister, Cathy, got it for PJ his second Christmas.  Elizabeth loves it...and so do the other three!

 This is the face after she tried to rip Paul's face off...she's notorious for grabbing at his face.

 Ninja warriors working on their moves in our driveway. PJ with his neighborhood friend Jackson.  It's been such a blessing having him live just a few doors down the street!

And, I found these two deep in imaginary play. I am sure at some point Calvin will hate me for putting this on the blog...but it's just so cute!

daily inspiration: week 3

Elizabeth giving a high five!

A fort made out of tree limbs...our own occupy Oviedo movement!

And a beautiful full moon at the beach.  It was gorgeous.

Easter 2012

 Here are my four peeps on Easter morn.  With the help of a dear friend, Rocio, I made Adele's dress.  It's not perfect, but it's not too bad, either!  I will say, though, that if Rocio hadn't helped me I would have given up!

Easter Weekend

 Well, it's been a fun Easter weekend, thus far.  We decided to head to Cocoa Beach Thursday evening to spend the night at Nana's condo.  We all had a wonderful time playing in the ocean and on the beach.  Below, you'll see Calvin lost his second tooth.  Pretty soon he's going to have a whole new smile.

 This girl wanted us to cover her feet, so we started making her into a mermaid but she persisted we make her into an manatee...so we did. =)

 And, Adele is really enjoying her role as big sister these days.  It has been such a blessing for me to see her growing and loving Elizabeth by nurturing her and playing with her often throughout the day.  I pray they'll be best friends and Adele will be a good example for Elizabeth as well!

 We returned home this morning and so we dyed eggs...that was a lot of fun too.  PJ was concerned about one of Adele's eggs when it cracked and some of the dye got into the egg.  He told her she coudln't eat it (he thought it would harm her).  Some tears were shed momentarily until we told them it wouldn't hurt her.

And this one seems to always have this shocked expression...I guess dying eggs is shocking when you're only 8 months old!

daily inspiration: week 2

Week Two for daily inspiration, joining my sister-in-law Nancy in recording my kids lives.  Well, and other things too!
#1 The woodpecker in the top picture was spotted Sunday at Paul's folks' house.  He stayed a long time, allowing me to take WAY too many pictures of him! But, how beautiful.  The way the Lord has designed the woodpecker alone shows a glimpse of the wisdom of His creation.
#2 Adele painting with watercolors.
#3 Elizabeth turns 8 months old today! Yippee....and she's ALL over the place.  She was contemplating climbing onto the metal rack yesterday.  One tooth came in on the bottom, her hair's growing and she's pulling herself up on anything remotely sturdy.  She climbed up two steps Sunday at Grammy and Grampy's.  She just keeps on developing beautifully. I am so thankful for my baby! =) She keeps us all in stitches.

earrings

Here is Adele with her turtle earrings in her ears.  Her Aunt Cathy gave her money for Christmas to get some earrings...and these are one pair she chose.  The other pair are little feet. They're so cute.  As you can see from the pictures, she was in quite a silly mood for these pictures!

daily inspiration

My sister-in-law, Nancy (over at emerald lane blog), has started a weekly post about daily inspiration including three pictures.  I don't know if I'll be able to do it weekly, but I'm willing to try. (I don't always have a computer available to use!)  Anywhoo...here it goes!

                                Calvin lost his FIRST tooth...so his smile is changing!

                          Inspired, yet again, by Nancy, we tried our hands at painting.

     And there is no greater fun that building forts in the living room with a HUGE African basket to make a cave, and Mommy allowing Elizabeth to hang as well. =)

Elizabeth is growing too fast!

Last Sunday I came home from church and put Elizabeth in her pack and play to sleep and as I sat on my bed, I looked over and I happened to see two blue eyes peeking over the top. Yep, she's learned to pull herself up! As you can see, she was quite pleased with herself!

She enjoyed playing with a balloon for the first time one day last week.  She was mesmerized by how it bounced in the air!

Experiencing sand for the first time at Cocoa Beach, Fl.

And she enjoyed some surf as well!  She LOVED the water.

happenings

 Scouting for nature.

 Fondue for Valentine's Day.

 A certain baby learning to explore.

 And crawl.

 Time with sweet friends.

 Travels.

Looking for critters.

Paul speaking in SC, down by the river!

Elizabeth Crawling

For my folks, Elizabeth crawling. She's been crawling for about a month, but has really taken off the past week or so.  Enjoy!

"Please tell the new missionaries they are coming to a life of hardship, responsibility, and constant self-denial.  They will be alone in the interior and will need to be strong and courageous."
-Lottie Moon

Celebrating Calvin's 6th Birthday

Yesterday marked Calvin's 6th birthday.  It was a day dedicated to the little guy.  We started off with a breakfast of scrambled eggs, toast and bacon...a breakfast for champions and one of Calvin's favorites!  We then waited until supper time for our guests to arrive.  Our guests were handpicked by Calvin to join us and for the occasion Calvin also requested Thai food.  He wanted sticky rice (which I had never made before), fried eggs (Thai style, which is really simple!) and watermelon...oh, and strawberry cake with ice cream.  He invited our dear friends, the Oharek family...and he was quite adamant that he wanted the WHOLE family here...so we obliged (they happen to be loved by our family very much!)

Here he is opening gifts with his good buddy, Drake looking on.  LEGOS were the hot item but he also got some money (from Nanny and Pappy) and a cool Star Wars gun from the Ohareks.  He loves his stormfighter that Grammy and Grampy got him...thank you!

This is a random picture but it's how one would go about making sticky rice.  All you do is boil some water, add the glutinous rice to the basket and steam it for about 30 minutes.  (you have to soak the rice overnight as well.)  Pretty easy to make!

For lunch, Calvin requested corn dogs...so you can see his partially eaten corn dog in the background.  For some reason, every picture he felt he needed to put six fingers up...I guess it is a big deal, he now needs two hands to tell his age!!!

 Above is his cake.  He wanted a LEGO Ninja on it, but alas, I could not deliver this year!

                                 Again, this birthday will be well documented that it's his sixth!

                                        Looking on as we sing Happy Birthday

                                Blowing out the candles....Happy  Birthday Calvin Lewis, we love you!