Saying Goodbye

In the past days and weeks I have been thinking a lot about our time here in Lopburi. When we first arrived here and I wondered how I would survive the hot season without a/c throughout my whole house and I wondered how Calvin’s birth would go with me traveling two hours to see a doctor (by choice) in Bangkok. I wondered how my relationship with our house help would go and would I ever be ok with her loving my children as her own? I, obviously, was concerned about my language ability and truly was under the assumption that after a year of fulltime language study I would be fluent in Thai, it didn’t take long to figure out that that is NOT the norm nor the case for me! I was somewhat annoyed that our house here in Lopburi only has one sink to wash our hands in, wash our dishes in and brush our teeth in. Yeah, kinda gross, right?! But, after 10 months of living here, I have adjusted to all of the above and have even found much comfort in our life here. It’s really bitter-sweet to have to say goodbye to it all. From our wonderful house help who is also a friend to the quirkiness of our home here, I will really miss it all. I have found great satisfaction and freedom in jumping on my bike to get to the market or to the local coffee shop to have a coffee with a friend, but in Bangkok, I won’t be jumping on my bike as a means of transportation. Life is really going to change in another week and I am really excited about the changes but I think it might take some time to get used to it all. In some ways we are entering a totally different world in Bangkok and yet SO much is the same.

Last night was our last fellowship group. We spent much time in prayer for the various teams and ministries that the LLC group represents. It was very encouraging to hear the hearts of our friends here and their desire for God’s will to be done in their lives and ministries. A highlight of the night was that Jan and Jose (remember our Dutch neighbors who moved to Bangkok just two months ago) came in from Bangkok. Jose has a language check today. It was great to see them again and tonight we will be eating supper with them.

I think, perhaps, one of the hardest aspects of leaving is the fact that PJ is really going to miss his friends here too. He loves going to Shiloh (where he is babysat in the mornings) and loves interacting and playing with the kids there. I thank God for the opportunity PJ has had here this past year, of being introduced to the Thai language in a very natural way plus interacting with children from different cultures than his own. He is the ONLY American in the group and so it’s been good for him to learn to play and get along with others from other cultures. I thank God that there are other children on our team that he will be playing with in Bangkok but he will also have to make new friends again in our neighborhood and I foresee that being a huge transition for PJ. Please pray with us for God’s Spirit to be upon PJ as he says goodbye to all that is familiar here and will be learning along with us all the new stuff in Bangkok.

Often when I am about to move on from a place that I have lived I do a lot of reflecting and regretting. I realize things I should have done that I didn’t do and things I did that I shouldn’t have done. I always think, “I should have done more for the Lord.” Paul says I am too hard on myself and that I set very high expectations for myself. He reminded me I need to live each day by grace. I agree that this is true of me and I know that it’s not my works that make God happy but it’s the joyful obedience in serving Him that pleases Him; however, I still need to be disciplined with time and energy to be available to serve Him when He opens that door. I am looking forward to a fresh start in Bangkok. I am looking forward (albeit it will be hard at times) to having an open door policy with our home and Lord willing having Thai friends dropping in to see us often. It will be exciting and at times heart-breaking to see what the Lord is going to do not just through our family but through the other families on our team as well living in community with Thai people. Something Paul and I have realized is that we could very easily be so family-oriented that we forget about the lost and hurt world right outside our door. We need to keep the right balance of the two. We don’t want our children growing up to resent us for always being involved with everyone else except them but we are here to proclaim the message of Christ. Please pray for wisdom for us as we seek to strike the right balance. The Lord gave me this verse the other day during my devotions, I will leave it with you.
“By wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established; by knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches.” (Proverbs 24:3-4) Please pray that our house would be filled with wisdom and understanding. Thank you for your prayers!